How to survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Ramsbottom

With the return of The Walking Dead to our TV screens I’ve been pondering a question with a friend, one which I’m sure you’ve wondered too. Assuming you’re in Ramsbottom at the time, the question is, how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse?

Real Scientists ponder on how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse.

A few years back, Cornell University researchers actually put some thought into how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse. They agreed the best place to go would be somewhere remote, ideally mountainous like the Rockies.

Given we don’t have anything quite like The Rockies here, and Holcombe Hill, though lovely isn’t exactly Rockies status we’ve ruled that out.

So the question I’m going to attempt to answer today is, where is the best place in Ramsbottom to hold up in a Zombie Apocalypse?

This is a slightly different question to How to survive a Zombie Apocalypse in general. Naturally the answer there would be as far away from any forms of population as possible as Cornell University have suggested.

With that in mind, let’s crack on with the thought process, but before we go any further, we first need to better understand the definition of a Zombie.

Let’s talk about Zombies

There have been many different variations of Zombies in movies, TV, books and even podcasts.

The definition we’re going to use here is essentially reanimated corpses by some apparent magical means. I say magical because regardless of how infected something became, there is no physical way a skeleton could move on its own.

The reason this definition is required is that some Zombies are more like infected angry humans, like in 28 Days Later.

We can at least agree on one common acceptance though. That being the way to kill a Zombie is by destroying the brain, this is referenced in Shaun of the Dead for example.

I could go into much more detail but I hope you’ve got the idea . We’re talking generally slow walking stupid dead people. Not fast running infected people or monsters like in World War Z and I Am Legend.

Now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s go over some considerations of the location you might choose:

  1. You will need easy access to food and water or a good existing supply.
  2. You would want to consider the ability to defend the location from the undead and other survivors.
  3. Freedom of movement, if you needed to get out fast, having only one entrance is good for defense, bad for escape.

Me and my friend had considered this in depth, and ultimately there were three areas we considered to be viable locations with their own downsides to both. Hey, this IS Ramsbottom, its hardly famed as best location in the UK to avoid Zombies.

Here are the top three locations we’d consider should you have to survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Ramsbottom (feel free to have the chart show countdown music in your head when you read these). 

Location Number 1:

The TNT Building

Why here?

  1. It already has a nice fence around it. Although it’s not the most secure fence in the world, it’s better than nothing.
  2. It is quite an open space, you should be able to see Zombies or people coming at a distance.
  3. Flanked by the river Irwell on one side, if you were able to bring down the bridge near Cormar Carpets and tunnel to Nuttall Park you could almost create yourself a little Island.
  4. There will no doubt be some edible food in some of the TNT packages. It’s just finding it before it goes bad.
  5. If you get bored, or need to attack a horde of Zombies, you’ve got Forklift Trucks to fly around in.
  6. Pure entertainment factor of going through loads of packages that will never get delivered. Pot luck if it’s something useful like weapons or food, or just something fun like a Playstation. Keeping entertained is just as important for staying alive.

Why not here?

  1. It’s pretty central, would probably already have a number of Zombies around and if not Zombies then people.
  2. Getting in and out of the place given it’s in the open would be difficult without being seen.
  3. It could be on the hot list for other people considering how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse.

TNT is a pretty standard location. It’s not far from the shops in Ramsbottom should you need to get supplies too. It’s probably an obvious location though, so you might find some tough competition for it, and you would almost certainly be forced to dispatch with some Zombies.

 

Location Number 2:

Wooded Area like Grants Wood

Woods. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What?! Go to the woods, where it’s scary enough as it is without Zombies running around”. I know, I hear you, but check out why:

Why here?

  1. Lots of the woods around Ramsbottom are on hills, this should slow Zombies down considerably.
  2. There should be some edible berries or fungus in and around the woods.
  3. If you’re handy you can climb the trees to get some distance from the Zombies.
  4. Good shelter available.
  5. Wood can be used to make fires to keep warm.

Why not here?

  1. It’s the woods, it’s terrifying.
  2. There is a risk of being cut off should a number of Zombies be able to surround the woods.
  3. You’d need to know what you’re doing to survive in the woods.

The woods sounds like a great idea initially, good cover from the Zombies, the ability to evade them fairly easily should you need to make your escape as well as the terrain working in your favour.

They are scary though, especially at night, and especially in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse, and you really do need to be good pals with either Ray Mears or Danny English to really make it work.

So finally, last, but by no means least we move on to:

Location Number 3:

Kay Brow

You’ve possibly taken your car in here, or visited when going to The Doghouse Jazz Bar. Did you consider it as an option to hold up?

Let me go through some reasons as to why this would be a good place to go should one day you need to ask the question of yourself How to survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Ramsbottom.

Why here?

  1. It’s well fortified at all sides. If you’re able to secure the entrance you’re golden.
  2. There are mirrors and CCTV. Although the CCTV would probably cease to function; the mirrors could still be used to inspect up and down Kay Brow for anyone coming.
  3. It’s good proximity to Ramsbottom for skirmishes for supplies.
  4. There are plenty of tools that could be used to defend yourself with, as well as a number of tyres to create tyre walls to secure the location.
  5. Zombies hate Jazz.
  6. There’s a bar.
  7. Did you see number 6?

Why not here?

  1. As with TNT, it’s pretty central. It would probably already have a number of Zombies in or around it, and if not Zombies then people.
  2. Kay Brow is a major road through Ramsbottom like Bridge Street, you would likely get visitors.
  3. Maybe you don’t like Jazz?

After considering the options around Ramsbottom, these are the three locations I think to be some of your best bets, that’s naturally ignoring the fact that if you live in a nice old 18th century building yourself, it might be better to secure that and hold up at home.

Hopefully, like me you have previously considered how to survive a Zombie apocalypse, regardless of location.

Keep in mind this is purely for entertainment purposes only, it’s highly unlikely that a Zombie apocalypse would happen. Having said that, Cornell University did actually agree that if you prepare for things like floods, hurricanes and other disasters then it isn’t much more from a Zombie Apocalypse.

If you’ve got other suggestions I’d love to hear them, you can get in touch via the contact page.

Creator of This is Rammy, award winning podcaster and lover of all things Ramsbottom.

Since moving to Ramsbottom with his family Lee wanted to get involved in promoting the town; starting the website and podcast felt like a great way to do this.

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